SELECTION GUIDELINES FOR PARENTS

How will your child be selected?

Our fundamental belief is that we want to include as many children as possible in our activities after considering safety and manageability aspects of that activity. We want to provide maximum opportunity to participate (without over committing each student in their weekly schedule) but in competitive situations we also want to be competitive. When we have to make selections, we base them on:

• Ability: Ability means how good your child is at something. We believe that all children can be good at things but we also know that activity leaders need to choose children who are most able at the time, in order for the team or the play or the event to be successful. One of the reasons your child will be chosen is because the activity leader thinks that at the time of selection they are ‘more able’ than most of the other children in the activity. We recognize that ability can change though. We all get better at things the more we do them and other people get better as well. Some children improve very quickly and some improve more slowly. Some children improve and then stop improving for awhile. Some children don’t see any improvement at all for a long time and then suddenly they seem to be able to do things much better. It is always difficult to know when a child will get better and how quickly, but one thing that will help them get better is having a positive attitude.

• Attitude: A positive attitude is very important. Activity leaders will also look at your child’s attitude when they are making decisions. Please encourage your child by asking, “Did you really try your best during the activity?”, “Were you ready on time?”, “Did you listen carefully to the leader?”, “Did you encourage other children in the activity to do their best?”

• Attendance: If a child does not attend an activity on a regular basis then their selection may well be jeopardized.
NB: If there are activities that are greatly over-subscribed, children who have missed out will be given priority in the next term.

How do I deal with selection?

It may be difficult for you and your child to accept a decision made by an activity leader. At IST we expect children to be caring and principled. We also expect parents and teachers to be the same. As a parent this means that you have to be aware of how to react to your child being chosen or not and how your child might react to things.
• If your child is chosen: If your child is chosen they will probably be happy. They may feel very relieved and they may want to talk through who was chosen and who wasn’t. Encourage your child to share these feelings with you. Remember also to encourage them to think of others and to be supportive of those children who were not selected. Remind them that they need to show their happiness at being chosen in a calm and respectful way so that they are not seen as ‘showing off’ by others.
• If your child is not chosen: If your child is not chosen they will most likely be upset. They may feel angry, they may feel like giving up, they may feel like crying. All of these feelings are ok and normal. Remember though that this does not mean that they are not good at what they are doing. Neither does it mean that they will never be selected. It may just mean that they are not yet ready to be chosen.

DO: Do encourage your child to speak to someone about how they feel – they can talk to their activity leader, their friends or you. Remember to encourage them not to give up! Encourage them to work to improve their skills so they can try again next time. Do make an appointment to speak to the activity leader, if you are unsure about why your child has not been chosen. They will be more than happy to do this. Do raise your concern in a friendly and constructive manner and remember that making a selection is not easy for anyone.

DON’T: Do not tell your child that you will sort out the problem. Do not get angry about the selection in front of them. This behaviour sets a bad example and is not at all helpful in our work with children. Remember that selection is not a collaborative process between the activity leader and the parents. The decision to choose a child or not resides with the activity leader alone. They will correspond with parents prior to any major selection times and they will inform all children in an open manner about the reasons for their selection.
Always remember that selection is difficult for children, parents and activity leaders. A calm and supportive approach will go a long way to deepening our combined understandings of the issue. In the end, it is the interests of the team or the play or the performance that are bigger then the interests of the individual. Please also go through the guidelines that your child has brought home and on reflection, if you feel that this sort of selection will be too stressful for yourself or your child, you should discourage your child from participating in this activity.